Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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