you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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