he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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