K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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