well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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