I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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