I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
