Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
