I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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