We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
