Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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