she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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