you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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