I got chris browned last night
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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