i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
