I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
