hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
