Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was like eating out sand paper
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Still dying that you shit outside
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
