can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
