I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
