all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
