Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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