All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
