My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
