Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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