Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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