It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
