You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
