I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize