a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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