Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
