dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
