my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
