One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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