Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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