dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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