i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
