Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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