I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
