sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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