Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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