You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize