Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
