the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize