I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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