i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
