you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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