wanna go halves on a baby?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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