He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
