It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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