Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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