sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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