I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
