office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
