I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize