Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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