I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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