You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i will never coherently bang her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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