I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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