You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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