Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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