I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
