Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Couch. On fire.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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