you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
