I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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