She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
