I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She announced her abortion via fbk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
