Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
